inbox (ryslig)

[doctorize]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DOCTORIZE FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** DOCTORIZE has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. If you wish to listen, type LISTEN01. <USER> LISTEN01 AUDIO MESSAGE PLAYING... <doctorize> This is the line for Dr. Daniel Dickens. If you'd like to leave a message, please do so here. I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible!

Comments

[peccatore]

[Marco crosses his arms. Indeed, he looks more annoyed than outright distressed, but still.]

They keep... bothering me over this. Being a demon.

[doctorize]

Hrm... perhaps that's your own sense of guilt speaking to you, over how you think you're supposed to feel over this recent change? You're at odds between two conflicting feelings, and for one side to take the form of what sounds like voices trying to communicate it's viewpoint louder than the other side could be what you're experiencing here, when observed from a particular point of view on the matter.

[peccatore]

Well... Alright.

[Marco nods, tense. Something about this matter being discussed in these terms makes him uncomfortable. Maybe he's just not used to it.]

So, what can I do about it?

[doctorize]

[Danny hums in thought as he briefly looks over the notes he's taken here during their therapy sessions together.]

Have you been consistently taking your medication here, even with the new changes that have occurred?

[peccatore]

[After a moment's hesitation, he nods again.] Yes. The... These changes [and he gestures vaguely at all of himself] don't really have anything to do with whether I take the medication or not. I want to be...

[What's a word that doesn't make him feel like garbage?]

Healthy.

[doctorize]

[Danny nods at that.]

Good, good. I just wanted to make sure. [He makes a note of something before he speaks again.] Have you discussed these thoughts with your partner, by any chance?

[peccatore]

I share... some things with him. Not everything.

[Although that may not be hard to guess, since he still has trouble speaking of some things in the privacy of Danny's or Hawkeye's offices.]

The... You know, the broader monster things, sure, I've told him about it and he understands. He's helped me with it a lot, actually. But the things I hear, from... my "parents", and the rest... I don't bother him with the details.

[doctorize]

Why? Are you worried about what he might say or do in response to hearing about that?

[peccatore]

I just... don't want him to worry. Besides...

[There's some clear discomfort in Marco's face. He doesn't LIKE sounding "crazy."]

[doctorize]

As someone's partner, I would assume that he worries about you here regardless... but, alright. I can see why you wouldn't want to sound crazy when speaking to someone that dear to you.

[peccatore]

Right. I... [He gesticulates, averting his eyes out of how flustered he is.] I think it's a different kind of worry, worrying about me being here versus worrying about the things I hear. He'd be unnecessarily distressed if I told him what I hear.

[doctorize]

... Do you think that he would leave you, if he knew about what kind of things you hear?

[Danny you can't just ask him something like that--]

[peccatore]

... No. Not really. Only if I acted on them.

[He's quite a bit more somber all of a sudden. The lowest point in their relationship... It was at the height of his delusions.]

[doctorize]

I see.

[Danny makes a note of something, before he suddenly smiles.]

Well Marco, as long as you continue taking your medication and keeping to our scheduled appointments, I have faith that you will continue to do your best to not act on those delusions here.

[peccatore]

[Sometimes, Marco wonders what Danny's writing. But even if he felt like he could ask... he's not sure it would be such a good idea to know.

Not that he never asks questions he suspects he won't like the answer to. For instance...]

Do you think... I'll have to keep taking it indefinitely? Is it the only thing keeping me from.... from losing my mind?

[doctorize]

[Danny frowns a little at that now.]

Unfortunately, that's how mental health treatment works, at least in most cases: we can only "treat" the symptoms rather than cure them. If there was a singular medication that could immediately cure a person's mental state in only one or two doses, there wouldn't be much of a need for therapists, would there? But alas, no such thing truly exists. It's a sad failing of the mental health practice, really.

[peccatore]

No, I... I know that.

[He fidgets for a moment. Of course, what Danny is saying makes perfect sense. He just... really doesn't like it. He doesn't like that it's true, he doesn't like being like this, he doesn't like that there's something just permanently WRONG--

But he takes a deep breath.]

So I just have to keep doing what I've been doing, right?

[doctorize]

Yes, that's right. I know it may not seem like it sometimes, but I promise, you've been coming along quite nicely.

[And just like that, Danny is right back to smiling again.]

Now then, was there anything else you wanted to talk about today?

[peccatore]

["Coming along nicely," huh. Marco isn't sure how those words make him feel, but regardless, he smiles politely.]

I, ah... Nothing's coming to mind. I take it I haven't really... said anything that could be a cause for concern, then?

[doctorize]

If there was something that I thought was a cause for concern, I would have told you. [Actually, he probably wouldn't, but--] As it is, everything that you've said so far sounds like what one might expect when facing the circumstances that you have here.

[peccatore]

Okay. Okay, that's a relief. [Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair - it narrowly avoids a horn he isn't completely used to yet.]

Sometimes I feel the need to make sure.

[doctorize]

It's alright, I understand.

[Though, despite his words, he finds it annoying occasionally. Why can't patients just believe him the first time he says something? But it's a thought he probably should keep to himself here.]