inbox (ryslig)

[doctorize]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DOCTORIZE FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 018.07.154.55 *** DOCTORIZE has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. If you wish to listen, type LISTEN01. <USER> LISTEN01 AUDIO MESSAGE PLAYING... <doctorize> This is the line for Dr. Daniel Dickens. If you'd like to leave a message, please do so here. I'll try to get back to you as soon as possible!

Comments

[observitude]

[Hmm. He switches his gaze up to the ceiling, sitting up straighter by some strange reflex that wanted to get a better look at whatever was up there. Germs, probably, because there's always germs...]

"Want" is a strong word... I suppose it's more...that I've felt for a while now that it's something I should do, because that's what someone better than me would be doing, to keep their life together. But thinking about it all over again, after so long... It's tiring, isn't it? And I was probably afraid. So I decided to take advantage of this very quiet spell I seem to be having.

[Charles lowers his eyes again to offer a small smile, then leans to pick up his coffee and take a sip.]

Most days... I'm doing at least ten unthinkable things right now, I imagine. But it's quiet, and it's always been the noise that makes everything else so much more...more.

[doctorize]

[While Charles is talking, Danny watches with some amount of curiosity as his gaze goes to the (66, his brain helpfully supplies) ceiling tiles up there, wondering what exactly it is Charles is looking for up there. Is he the type to count them, too?]

This noise that you're talking about... what does it normally sound like, if you don't mind my asking?

[observitude]

[Not today. The dozenth time he has to be in here, maybe he'll resort to counting...but for now, he's just looking for scattered thoughts.]

It depends. If a wall is made of meat, it will squelch and smell like meat. If I'm in a crowded area, it might be a class of students whispering around me. If something is dirty, maybe a family of cockroaches is hoping to breed and expand inside it. Mother likes for me to do my best. But...

[Even under the music taking away his cares, he's much more subdued. Scarlett beat him down too many times over to be jovial when talking about.]

My sister. That's the one I'm afraid of making a return.

[doctorize]

[A sister, huh... suddenly, this is starting to sound awfully similar to what he hears from Marco during their sessions sometimes.]

I see... what's her name? And what is it that she does or says that causes you to be afraid of her?

[observitude]

[WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW HER NAME, DANNY... a question Charles might ask if his defenses weren't down. Valid information to have, sure, but his sister to begin with is a closely-guarded subject.]

Scarlett. She's...cruel, and she makes rules. If I waste the life I've been given, if I don't live according to her standards, then I don't get to sleep, or eat. I already hurt myself and need to make things clean, but she makes it worse, and will laugh while I do it, or hit me instead. Almost threw me out a window, once...but I think it was more about getting me to obey her again. I needed to study. I never studied enough for her.

[doctorize]

[Having a name to go with the delusion helps validate a person's concerns rather than simply referring to it as an imaginary sister or parent or friend.

... And also because Danny is the type of person who will file this information away in the event Charles gives him a reason to use it against him someday. (I'm so sorry)]

Oh my, that is cruel. Have you still been seeing or hearing her even in this place? And if so, is there anything you've done in the past that helped to keep her from appearing?

cw suicide mention

[observitude]

Haha... Well, I used to take medication to help, but what finally stopped her was killing myself. I guess I could do that again, but there's not much point when I would return soon after, hm?

[also it would be a Big Stress for Fran and just not advisable in general, but he doesn't care about that right now.]

I haven't seen her like that in a while, but it's been a while since I was alive... I'd like to stay ahead of it if I can.